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Marriage, Diversity & Relationships 

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Since March 2014 same sex marriage has been lawful in the UK and it would appear that civil ceremonies are more likely than religious ceremonies. Although the arguments against same sex relationships within the church are lessening, there is still strong opinion against this. The Office for National Statistics has advised that in England and Wales, between March 29th and June 30th 2014, there were 1409 same sex marriages, of which 796 (or 56%) were female couples. Read More

Fathers & Daughters…..

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I have previously written about my meeting with the mothers of young transsexual adults. I should also take this opportunity to say that I write largely about the transition of males to females, because that is where my experience, to date, lies. That does not mean that I will ignore female to male transitioners, should the opportunity arise; indeed, in many ways I am sure that the same emotional journey applies for the families of these transitioners. It is simply that I have no personal experience upon which to draw any conclusions. Read More

Mothers & Daughters

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I recently had the privilege of meeting two mothers who were visiting Thailand to support their daughters, who were facing a profound and life changing experience. I was deeply affected by the stories that these mothers told me.

“What’s so strange about this?” you may ask. Well, both daughters were identified at birth as boys and had been brought up as such. Now they were about to undergo Sex Reassignment Surgery, which would permanently alter their physical appearance and give each the female body they so desired, in order to be true to their own gender awareness. Read More

Career Tranny?

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This is a term I recently came across when reading another person’s blog. It was said in a derogatory manner and was directed at transsexual women and men who stay in the public eye both during and post transition. That is, those of us who choose not to live in stealth and who tell our stories, either in the written media or, as is becoming more common, on television and radio. Read More

What is Counselling?

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Counselling can be many things but it is primarily known as a ‘talking therapy’ where the client and the counsellor take time to talk through problems or issues that the client may be experiencing. These issues can be widespread and range from anxieties about daily life and workplace occurrences, worries about finances or relationships, to more significant issues such as addictions (drug and alcohol being the more obvious ones) and bereavement; in fact it includes anything that may impact on how you, as a person, are affected by day-to-day living. Read More

The unexpected value of counselling

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A client’s thoughts about how she felt in the period leading up to entering counselling and the value she has derived from being in therapy.

I have chosen to write this blog voluntarily and I give my assurance that it is an honest review of my experience. My identity must remain anonymous, though, as the content refers to members of my family whose privacy I wish to respect. Read More

The bright lights of Hollywood v. the street lights of Glasgow

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By  StayingInTheShadows, 30 08 15

As a woman who transitioned comparatively late in life (in my late fifties), my attention was recently caught by a television programme made by BBC Scotland*. It was, for the most part, sympathetically presented (although there were the inevitable and pointless shots of the women applying their make-up – why is this such a ‘must’ for those documenting anything to do with transition?); it seemed to be careful in its adherence to acceptable terminology and the correct pronouns, and in the lack of sensationalism or salaciousness in the voice-over. Read More

So you like dressing up?

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By StayingInTheShadows

“So you like the clothes and the make-up?  Is that why you want to be a woman?”  This is the challenge often laid before those who would wish to leave behind the male way of life they have had to accept since birth, and who would, instead, hope to be able to express themselves and to live as the woman they know they have always been inside.  It is a common mistake, made by many who do not really understand the absolute driving need, that some have, to make an absolutely fundamental change to their life and their identity.  “You’re like one of them drag artists, are you then?”  Nothing could be further from the truth. Read More

The Danish Girl – A trans therapist’s viewpoint of the film

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I saw The Danish Girl last night on its first day of release here in the UK. The international hype had already lifted the film onto my ‘must see’ list and I was not disappointed. This is the big screen at its best, with a first class cast and a story told within the plot constraints and time limitations of a film on general release. I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good romance or who has personal interest, or is just curious, about what it may be like to be transgendered. Read More